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The Serpents’ Revenge

Because of that Patrick –

The one who’d been sainted,

The snake’s reputation’s

Forever been tainted.

A symbol for Satan?

A pagan he said?

He must have had rocks

For the brains in his head.

An innocent lot

Our folks had to flee

From Ireland’s hills

And into the sea.

Add to the outrage

We’ll never get over,

We’re banned from all fields

Of the cursed three-leaf clover.

And so we’ve decided

On Council’s advice

To bombard their Isle

With boatloads of mice.

We’ll see how they manage

Their prized tater crop

With mice making meals

Of their staple non-stop.

No snakes to control them –

The food chain unhooked –

Those Irish will realize

Their claddagh’s been cooked.

Then people will wonder

Who had the last laugh:

We ostracized snakes,

Or that saint and his staff?

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